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Thank you very much. Welcome, everybody. I am pleased to be here with my fellow members of the Association who have got some interest, I hope, in in exploring some of these ideas that have been.
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I've been thinking about for some time as a part of my work in women's education, and I hope we do get some questions at the end.
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What I say, so I'm like, spark some curiosity, or even some controversy.
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You never know. So I'm I'm I'm going to introduce lots of ideas to you. But so, and I hope that you know you will challenge me.
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All ask me questions at the end, and you know quite sure wasn't yours. It is a story I'm going to tell you a story, and, like all good stories, let me just I'm gonna go. Stop! I have got some slides to show you so I'll just get the first slide up
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so I know where I'm I'm going with it all right.
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So, yeah, welcome to some of my ideas. And it is a story.
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It's a story, and I hope you can.
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You see that I put that all right? It's a story of the psychological story of womankind as a very grand title, isn't it?
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But, as far as it goes, as much as we can get done in the time, I will.
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I'll try and show you what's going on, and I called it her story because it's trying to point out various ways in which, when women begin to tell their stories from their point of view.
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Things can change. I'll just go send them as storytelling is normally in 3 parts, I there will be a beginning, a middle, and an end, and I will tell you a little bit more about what I think her story has contributed to our understanding of womankind, and then move on to
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the psychology. Part of it, I suppose the the ideas about patriarchy and folk psychology and the impact that has had on women's lives, and the way we think about ourselves, our stories, our individual life stories.
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But I have got a positive ending, a happy ending.
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I hope that we can make changes for women through education.
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I would say that, wouldn't I? But I do. I do think that we don't need to be totally pessimistic about how change can come about, so I do have a little prologue, though it's good with a have a prologue isn't it I will be using the f word.
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I hope that doesn't offend anybody. Feminism is often understood in lots of different ways, but you'll see I don't need to spell it out.
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I think it might come across that I I speak from a feminist perspective about all of this, and take that as take that as red, and I will also be saying the dreaded p word patriarchy again, much on misunderstood. I think.
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But I hope to say some a little bit about that, and she show you how we might address.
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I issues and ideas and the impact of patriarchy on women's lives, and certainly on our psychology.
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And you know there will be times for questions at the end.
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So we'll catch up then. So to begin at the beginning as we should, I, when I first started thinking about this, I thought how many ways can I write down a list of all the ways in which we hear stories all our lives?
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And I, and I love this everything, everywhere and always, and most of the ways they're written, how they're written, who's directing them at us?
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I'm talking as women also as women, and well, and men too.
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They're told from a particular perspective. And mostly the people that have got who get to say, though all the stories in all the forms, probably until women started writing novels and getting them published, even if under a pseudonym, we saw the world through the writings
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and ramblings, and whatever of men, and you might as well, that's they're telling the truth that're telling us truth about ourselves, and they're perfectly capable of doing it.
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But this idea that we're listening to those voices predominantly affects this inner voice that we have of ourselves.
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So we we are telling our life story as we grow and change.
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And so on, we're building up an understanding of the world, and it's through that lens so it's a double whammy.
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Really, we're getting the commentaries to all of us about the world, how we should live, and so on.
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But also individually, we're building an understanding through that way of looking at the world which I hope we might address or make sense of it all.
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So that's the that's the beginning, the beginning of the beginning.
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I have labeled this per story. That's my title.
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So here we go, and I'm I was very struck with the idea that in in last 10 years or so there have been a plethora of women writing writing books that in translation from around the world, from all aspects of life, different I mean so many different books, and so many different voices, of
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women accessible to us, and reading groups and beginnings of films were being and and programs and TV programs produced by women.
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And it struck me, yes, this is brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
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What a what a good change has come about eventually. Women, you know, we can hear their voice in all its forms but a little naggling, niggling voice said to me, But who's listening?
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Is it just the women listening? What are we making of it?
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Here's an understanding ourselves, and so on, and lurking in my mind is this this song the Oxford girl?
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Some of your folks singers who will know this, and and I love this, that the kind of approach of this poor girl I never had a chance to prove them wrong.
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My time was short, story long now I never had a chance to prove them wrong.
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It's always them that write the song, and you might say, well, with all the writings of women now, and the things happening, change is happening to women.
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So all kinds of agencies. Me, too, you you name it.
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We know we're we're on the move, and young feminists say to me, Well, we're getting equality now.
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It's it's nearly done, you know. Here we are, and I'm old enough to think maybe not.
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Maybe not, because it's still same people writing most of the songs, most of the words.
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And maybe our words are not, you know, making a difference yet.
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Maybe not, you know, making a difference yet. Maybe if I don't want to be white so pessimistic.
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So the next aspect of her story of my getting over my, you know idea.
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It's all them that writes the song, and we never get a chance to prove them wrong.
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This is the big, really, are we proving them wrong with our I'll go at her stories.
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Telling our view of things that were talked about in other ways by man.
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In other histories, but we get a chance to add, in what it seemed like to us and it our experiences from our point of view.
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I mean, it's great. It's in there.
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It's out there, but is. There are also ways in which we think we're still very invisible.
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And maybe our songs are. Our words are not yet making too much of an impact.
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So we have to recognize that it's not denying it.
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But the but the other aspect of this is, we tend to think that they were talking about.
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You know the invisible women, the hidden from history, women.
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Well, yes, brilliant to recognize those, but we will.
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We want a story about all kinds of women, all kinds of women are doing amazing things and contributing to society.
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So this does that kind of you know. Emphasis on special, you know.
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Exceptional, of people, and it still isn't getting it, you know.
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What's the fundamental story about ourselves as men and women and as a society that still holds swe and as a psychologist I am aware that that story still holds okay.
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I'm not gonna do all slides, but I'm I just want to while I'm on the her story bit and I just want to. And I do say I'm just saying this, if any of you have been aware I'm sure some of you have read or know of the work of Caroline
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Crado prayers and her book book, Invisible Women, and I was struck by her latest writing Newsletter about them.
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It's called this sex, disaggregating adverse events.
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Now, that's really research into the effects of drugs and medicines on women, mostly effects of drugs on people are on men, people, not women, people.
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And it's taken a long to. And so one of the ways in which her story and invisibility has a direct and real impact on our lives, if you like.
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Is that they don't even investigating about us, let alone talking about us or including us.
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In this notion people. So that was just one example she had about that.
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But the second example that she gave this month also suddenly struck me as being another way in which we're not paying attention to the kinds of society.
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The order of society, and I'm not going to call it all patriarchy, but the way we organize society.
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And this was an example of ice, written roads, and and mostly the roads were gritted from A to B, from home to the places where men go to work.
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When really it was much more cost effective in terms of lives and hospitalizations, of people falling over if they gritted the places.
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When women went from home to the nursery, to the shop, to their place of work, or that them, and so on.
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These were 2 routes that needed to be paid attention to much more cost-effective saving lives.
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But it's the prioritizing, I suppose, and so on. These were different routes that needed to be paid attention to much more cost-effective saving lives but it's a prioritizing, I suppose, and so there's a this other hidden.
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This is another hidden history. It's another hidden history that her story, Caroline, doing her bit to sort of shout out What's what's not being spoken about, what's not being done, and it's and it's not because they don't mean, it or want to be difficult
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it just that we'll get round to it. We'll just get round to it one day.
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No sorting out things like women's lives or women's health and well-being.
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And although you might say, Well, we're catching up.
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Well, yes, and I say, if you take nothing else from this lecture, maybe it was just really really think about how we, how we shout louder.
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So I'm I'm it is. There is time.
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Yeah, there, there is need for us to pay attention to those stories and the ways and the actions that are being taken us.
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So I see that as all part of the campaign for her story is to make us visible, and to make prioritizing the kinds of areas and matters that concern us as well, not just as telling the stories of women, it goes beyond that is what it's more important really say that I love reading not from
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sports. Okay, so I'll do one more slide to show you that we're moving on.
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That was my opening cell phone. In a way, for her story, and I'm thinking, well, okay, that's that's the out in the world.
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Bit. What about the psychology? What about this, though? All those ways of talking about men and women actions taken in in our society to look after us or not?
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What about the way in which we, as individuals see our lives, see our life story?
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How do we develop it? How do we make things of it?
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Which is what we're doing all the time, and we have stories that explain.
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Oh, sorry we have stories. We have stories that explain women.
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And so we picked that up because we've heard these explanations.
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As for why, we are the way we are, and this is called folk psychology.
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And but it is through this lens and psychology is also to blame, because for the most part for many, many decades, it was men researching man.
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Basically and the shock that I had when I first became a student many, many decades ago, was, I had the textbook.
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I was very key to read it, and I found there was a chapter called Women's Psychology, a chapter, and the other chapter next to it was called Abnormal Psychology.
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I'm not like, well, who's normal? How do you have a chapter on Abnormality and a chapter on Women?
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I thought we were. I thought we were included in people in the rest of the textbook, but apparently not, and that was my first inkling that somehow psychology was also perpetuating the stories about who we are.
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What we are, what makes us tick, and all those ideas so.
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And I look carefully at the assumptions that are being made.
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The institutions that are educating us with these. Some of these ideas about us, when we are reading about these who think well, are they?
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Are they including us? And it? What goes all the way through to our workplaces, and so on.
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And I will come back to this. This is my area of psychology that I've studied most is our sense of self an identity.
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And the impact that has, how do we? And this is our well-being, our mental well-being?
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But you know, that's in the next bit of story I got one more slide, and then I'll go just me talking, cause these, if I I show it to you.
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As I say, the stories that we get the assumption forget the ideas we get about what makes us who we are and different from them.
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The story, you know men first will find out that them first, and then we'll get round to you later.
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And and of course, when women came into psychology in the Eightys, it did make a huge difference, because we set off to look for women in the place.
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As you find women in the home, in nurseries, looking after children in the workplace.
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But different kind of workplaces than the men. But and then started looking and asking questions and talking to them, and trying to get an understanding of women's work.
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When his lives, what affected them? And we have some very sad, and I'll ask.
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It is the big biological story, even, you know, at the times when women were struggling with life, and they may go to the doctor, I think, in the Seventys the the prescriptions of diocese pan to women that came to the doctor with difficulty were prescribed something that
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made life seem seem better without actually addressing the very things that were affecting their lives.
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In other words, we don't need pills. We don't need a biological answer.
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We want a social answer. We want action taken to address, you know, which which came about with shore start and nursery schools, and so on.
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And women's education. That's where I come in with joining the Wa.
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At a very small branch in Milton, Mowbray, and we decided that we would have something about our bodies ourselves.
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We would learn about that with some brilliant tutors, and we started programs for women in the daytime, arranging the crash and so on.
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And and and it was an eye-opener for many of the Wa.
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Of the old stalwarts that women should want to learn about these things.
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Well, our idea about learning about these things was that we wanted to know as much about ourselves and the world economics, politics, history, proper history, history that included women.
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We wanted to know that as much as the men wanted to know that, so that we could actually participate and join in and form groups, or whatever we did in those days, but lying behind it.
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And it hasn't gone away in all these years.
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It's still there. It's still the folk psychology, if you like.
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It's about biology that you fix things with a pill.
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You fix things by, you know, recognizing acknowledge it, that we are different, and look for differences, measure differences all the way down.
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You name it. Psychologists have measured it and decided you're either one or the other extra introvert abnormal, normal.
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What able or disabled, you know. Really stark kind of labels and categorizing that were given to people, and still are, of course, and and and some people are not something they're diss or non.
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But the big one, male female. Again. Doesn't it look lovely?
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It's a nice, even category. You're either male or female, to be male is not the equivalent category to be female?
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If you live in a society where male assumptions about males, psychology is is dominant, and and women's psychology as well.
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You know, they're just different, and we'll get round to finding out about those when we when we get round to it.
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And sitting behind it, and again, I'm glad to say the oh, the evidence for brains being different has now actually been I mean, thank goodness, we have neuroscience.
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We have brilliant neuroscience now, that shows that our brains develop differently because we grow up differently.
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Our brains do not start out the same. So it's it's they're flexible.
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They're plastic, they're plasticity allows all these differences to show up and develop.
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But we don't start off so it it get, you know. There we go.
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Let's let's not assume that we're different because of our brains.
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It's not if our lives are different. If we don't have equality, if we don't do all those things, it's not because we're incapable of.
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And the one thing that I really want to kind of dispel is when I hear something we're just as good as the men.
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What? Why don't we just say, what are the men?
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Not as good as the women at, but it is still a binary. It's still marking people out labeling people and saying, You're either one of the other instead of actually coming to this conclusion that there is diversity.
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There's huge diversity across both sexes and we don't need to be marked.
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We don't need to be marked out in different ways, and we can have labels, and names, and we can have labels and names.
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And obviously. But this, and again an idea that ought to be, you know, I suppose, put out to the world, is of all the things that psychologists have measured, that trying to look at.
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I'll actually stop screen sharing that. I've tried to look at different and an obsession with difference in measuring it.
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The conclusion drawn, if you're trying to find differences particularly with between men and women.
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But it is between old and young, black and white, or whatever is the one conclusion is, there is more variation within any group.
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Than there is between groups. Now, that's a kind of strange statistical thing, isn't it?
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Think, how can that be? Well, take any group, measure them on anything?
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They will vary, I mean, if you if you go, and if you wanna, you know good at knitting a good at sport, and then you only test them on sport knitting.
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You'd find an awful lot. Very good people in those groups.
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That's not what I mean, I mean for any group.
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If you look at another psychological measure, you will find variation and part.
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That is, you know, the myth of that and the they, the perpetuation of those ideas, have got in the way of women's development.
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For sure, because that we internalize it. We women take it on board, and it's very hard then, to see yourself in any other way.
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You can say, yes, we want equality. But actually no, we want liberation from ideas.
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We want liberation from some of those ideas that that kind of keep people thinking.
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Well, there's no point, cause I'm different.
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You know we can't do that. We've got different brains.
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Well, you know our brains have become different because of the way we're raised, and so on.
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So it's the end of nature. Nurture end of nature, nurture it, and in its place we have to put ideas about how individually we, we gain age, and some of the stories we hear and what we don't hear that dispels our agency and takes it away from
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us because we're not meant to be doing that or being like that.
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And then there's the other one collectively. Women. Work collectionly, because that's the best way we found of actually making a difference in society.
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But but it also means that we're engaging in ways that that teachers, things and enable us actually to do anything.
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But you know, whatever we want to do we could do if we join together.
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It's an old idea, isn't it? But but nevertheless, you know, I think it's it's worth, you know.
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It's worth keeping saying it, anyway. So that's that's my my middle bit really is to say, if we want another story per story, we we want a story about a proper story about biology.
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A proper story about nurture. If you like. How do we raise children?
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What is the states of schooling? What are the ideas that are fed into you know what's appropriate for them to be studying?
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One example actually, that came. That was a student, so told me recently that she, when she first started work she was.
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She was a mathematician, and I think an engineer.
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Very rare, no state. But issue went into computing, and it was all women doing the computing, not with computers, computing, working out the code, working out all the formula, doing the maths, doing the engineering, making the machines right, went off and a break had some kids came back to work, and found she was
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the only woman working in computing and the decline of women students going in to universities, taking computing has just kept on declining.
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Now it should be a very good example for everyone.
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That course computing is for women. And but what has happened is another social change, a social understanding of what's appropriate work and the girls are picking it up and not taking it up for their career as with other science subjects.
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I mean it, which should be shocking. It should be outrageous, and all the work is put in to increase.
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Girls to take it up, but they haven't changed the story.
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They haven't addressed the story and said the real story underlying it is that people still believe there's a difference between men and women in their capabilities.
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:45.000
Okay, we vary. Some are going to be good at computing and not.
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:46.000
That's not the point, but it's across both.
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:56.000
Genders, and so, you know, the girls might be encouraged if only we could just dispel that story.
00:23:56.000 --> 00:24:07.000
So, we're bearing that in mind. Folks, let's see what the next thing is we do have to talk about the big P.
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:08.000
But but I'm gonna take a perhaps a some of you before.
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:16.000
Good old feminist of my era would say, well, the definition of a feminist is that we're working towards changing the patriarchy.
00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:20.000
Yeah, yes, right on. That's what we're doing.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:35.000
But I think one of the things that I've I've learned over the years is that we really need to kind of keep looking at this idea of even the story about patriarchy can get can lose its meaning.
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:53.000
And this is a quote from Angela Seney, who's got a new book out, called The Patriarchs, and again very highly recommended, and she says Patriot has lost some of its meaning through over use, but it affects us in various ways, in different places, but not everywhere and not always and most
00:24:53.000 --> 00:25:00.000
importantly, not necessarily. That might come hard to some of us hardline feminists not necessarily well.
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.000
We have to believe, not necessarily. If we're going to bring about any change, and I find that you know quite encouraging.
00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:13.000
Well, let's say not necessarily. Why, why, you know, it can change, and and also the idea of relation.
00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:17.000
You know, it's a, it's relationships, beliefs and values. Right?
00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:31.000
And that's what we call a male orientated management of the world society and all the heads of everything, and women struggling to do what always gave me the Hebbies.
00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:33.000
When I first heard it, said, breaking glass ceilings.
00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:38.000
Very dangerous thing to do. Showers of glass coming down. I won't use that myself.
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:44.000
I do see, is much more of, you know, struggling over and climbing over things and destroying barriers.
00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:50.000
That's a much better metaphor. But but these stories of natural difference still getting the way, and it's still there that there gender in inequality is still seen as natural.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:26:09.000
And and so back to the big biology problem. But patriarchy can be changed if we change the story about why it is that men are there in these positions of power and so on.
00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:24.000
And, you know, diminishing these, these old ideas of feminine attributes being sort of lesser or less important or less serious than the qualities that men can claim to have.
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:26.000
And it is a privilege to claim those things and to walk up through the world in a different kind of way on unlabeled.
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:36.000
Go back to that labeling on March. Women are always marked and marked by something.
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:42.000
You cannot be just a person. You, miss, Miss Miss Miss Misses. Men are just mister.
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:48.000
They're just blokes right, and there's so many ways in which we, you know, it's just subtle ways.
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:53.000
And you know we could do with it and the other big thing, though, that I will say.
00:26:53.000 --> 00:27:01.000
And this this is again. I'm a hardline feminist, but I will say most men are disturbed by the hatred and fear of women.
00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:11.000
I think they are, and male violence. Of course they are, because men get hurt by men as well, and and they don't like the men who perpetuate that they don't.
00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:30.000
But I it's sort of this is a clarion call to the men to also see the story has to change, and and in order to help them as well help us dismantle the the kind of top heaviness of masculinity that's a really affects them, and affects the women
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:36.000
and the women in their lives, and so on. And also this, oh, really bad idea of nature or institutions, who, they say, is institutional racism.
00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:49.000
That's people as folks doing it. They've got the story, and they believe it, and they're acting upon it, and nobody stop them.
00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:51.000
And you can't just say it. Too few bad apples.
00:27:51.000 --> 00:28:01.000
So again, you know. I this is, let's let's look again at this idea of what we can do and what the patriarchy is.
00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:06.000
So I'm suggesting that it is about these stories, right?
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:11.000
So this is, this is moving on. We could we could say, Well, how can we shift that?
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:23.000
The biology, part of it, and and this lens of patriarchy that we all can look through, because all the newspapers, all the stuff, most of the stories, and we need the men to read the women's stories and see make more films and I I went wonderful films.
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:39.000
And go back to her story again. What I meant to mention this before wonderful film so go back to her story again. What I meant to mention this before. Wonderful film that's just come out called women talking and went with some of women.
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:55.000
Friends and fantastic, but we really enjoyed it, sat talking a bit at the end, and the man came in who is clearing out this sort of cinema, you know the way they do, and and we said, my friend said, Well, you know, it's a brilliant
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.000
film, and when you you have you seen it yet?
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:08.000
The look on that man's face was. If I could have captured it, I could haveve shown you, and that's the reaction, like what swimming's film I mean, really shocked like, what do you mean? See?
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:14.000
It. Go to it, you know, and it was just that that reaction.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:20.000
This is a women's film. I'm just clearing up here, and and I think that's that's part of the problem.
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:23.000
So who's going to go and see that are mostly women?
00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:27.000
And the good thing about that talk about changing the story was a very good example of how women negotiate and talk, and look very good at that.
00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:36.000
People get very good at that. Women get very good at empathy.
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:42.000
Get very good at all those organizing things, arranging to flee them in, or whatever, because if you're in a lesser position that's what you do.
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:47.000
You have to be able to manage all the other rules and regulations that seem to be limiting you.
00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:55.000
You find ways of doing it. So it's very good film for that as well.
00:29:55.000 --> 00:30:08.000
But it's but to go back to whether we need to have patriarchy, and there are many women societies, matrilinear, maturally local society societies.
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:14.000
It is, it is false that you know the dominance thing is a paid is patriarchal a race of arranging things.
00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:20.000
We should be more aware of how it's possible to change things.
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:26.000
And and the other idea, too, is it's it's it's not something we they do.
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:29.000
It's a patriarch isn't done to us as women.
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:32.000
It is the system, and we perpetuated not in a bad way. You know.
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:33.000
It's because the story we perpetuated because we fall into it.
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:41.000
We fall in line with it, and we feel there's nothing we can do to change it except say, let's make us equal.
00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:43.000
Well, actually, no, we don't want equality. We want liberation from it, and and and it's you know, it's not.
00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:47.000
It's not, it's not they. It's it's all of us right. It's not just.
00:30:47.000 --> 00:31:01.000
Men in charge it. We all contribute to it in some way, and by into the story, and then we buy into our own stories about what you can't do and choice of a levels, and how you're meant to dress and live, and so on.
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:13.000
So change the folks. Psychology. This is this is what we're the message that we're we're, gonna you know.
00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:26.000
Try to kind of put across, really, and that the and this notion of diversity, not difference, not contrasting this with that, and and really believe that this is spelling, there.
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:31.000
Other systems are available. And until we can persuade ourselves and encourage the feminist amongst us that this is what we're really working towards.
00:31:31.000 --> 00:31:34.000
But the patriarchy is not Ver patriarchy one great thing, it's multiple different areas.
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:44.000
We could work in, and I suppose that's where I am.
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:47.000
I believe it's a chance. There's a chance.
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:51.000
I'm an optimist. We can. We can change things.
00:31:51.000 --> 00:32:03.000
So I'll just go to the next the next slide, and I just want I'll just screen share again so that I can have a look at.
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:10.000
I hope I hope you like this is somebody said to me, Oh, my goodness, you're still using that wonderful cartoon!
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:11.000
By Jackie Fleming, and I said, Well, I'll go and using it while there's a need to use it.
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:20.000
If you know the work of Jackie Famine's cartoons. She's got several.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:30.000
She has this character, this youth and and the the heroine is this this girl who is wearing a frock and a bow and a hair?
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:37.000
But she's she is always in disguise, and he says you don't look like a feminist, and she says, Watch out!
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:43.000
We disguise ourselves as human beings. I'm I'm gonna put that forward as a you know.
00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:50.000
Thought for the day really hold on to that idea that probably we're all in disguise in some way. We're not.
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.000
We're not one thing we have to shape up. We've played different roles.
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.000
We fulfill them in different ways, and we change throughout life.
00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:01.000
If we can get the idea, we're not fixed at birth.
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:02.000
We're continually changing as things change.
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:10.000
So that's always a possibility of changing in other directions.
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.000
And I think the strong, the story, our life story, what we're telling us often we are.
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:20.000
We are in disguise. That's why I say we are marked in some way we have to identify it.
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:22.000
Identify. So are you, miss missus, or miss? Are you?
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.000
You know, it's like it's it's always a challenge or even the way you dress, or what you do.
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:29.000
It's kind of you're that type of person you're that kind of woman, and and in a way we shouldn't have to explain ourselves.
00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:43.000
We just say, I mean skies. You don't know the true me down the road, or when I'm gonnaing, I'm a completely different person, and we've learned to be different. People.
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:50.000
And then have to do to course. But there is a greater need for women to keep in disguise for their own safety, for the claims they want to make about their lives yes, I do want to be an engineer.
00:33:50.000 --> 00:34:00.000
Please what you do, have to then create something that is believable and sunny.
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:01.000
Say, oh, really want to be an engineer? Okay, you really want to be an engineer.
00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:09.000
Okay, you really want to be an engineer, and we learn that way of guising, presenting ourselves on performing something and and and if only we could then do something about the story as well.
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:25.000
I think that's you know. The next thing that leads on to what would be my my end point.
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:33.000
But I'm I want to pause here before I finish and call it an epilogue.
00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:45.000
What is it? The end? I'm gonna say, girl power is a Miss and that's all very strange kind of spice girls girlpower.
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.000
Okay. You know, if somebody could say, you're fulfilling you're playing the role in the story.
00:34:49.000 --> 00:35:00.000
Why doing that? It's like, you know, this is this is not the way I think, but you know we're all playing some part in some story.
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.000
But some princes have forgotten, you know, if you're the second born in the, in the myths of the fairy tales.
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:13.000
Come on. And actually you could it us middle people also, you know, we know our place in the stories, and there is a myth about.
00:35:13.000 --> 00:35:23.000
Girl power, and I think it was. It was. It was an idea that said, Come on, girls will let you show you know you can, but you could do anything you like now.
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:28.000
No, we all knew that. You can't do anything you like.
00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:32.000
It was always going to be in the formula in the guys that is acceptable and and allowed.
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:40.000
And there's still, you know, I still find some women will come to class saying, Well, I'm not allowed that, and if you turn it around, said, Who's forbidding you?
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:46.000
They don't know what the forbidding is coming from, and I say the forbidding is coming from yourself.
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:49.000
If you're not allowed, you need to say well, you know I'm a grown person.
00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:53.000
I can make my own decision. There's nobody telling me what to do.
00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:56.000
And yet you know the whole. All of that time. When we were told there was goal power, and women were still being treated in the same way.
00:35:56.000 --> 00:36:05.000
There wasn't equality. There wasn't equal pay, though, wasn't it?
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:14.000
Nothing had changed, nothing had changed. In fact, we were going backwards in many ways, in many areas of women's lives, like not going into, you know, all kinds of ways.
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:20.000
So we have to think where those myths are, and where our real power is, which is never giving up.
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:25.000
There she is, and I would also suggest it's I love this.
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:26.000
My granddaughter said that her school was to school.
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:34.000
She didn't like the schooliness of school. It was too schooly and I know what she meant.
00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:43.000
She looked, learning. She loved the topic, but she didn't like the rules, the regulations, the whistles, the locked doors, the can't lift a pencil unless you ask the you know so many rules.
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:44.000
And you think what is happening. Your schooling, you're constraining, and the girls are feeling it.
00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:47.000
For you. The girls feel it because it's the length of their skirt, and how they're dressed.
00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:54.000
And of course they're developing this way that way.
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:57.000
And they they don't know their their role in that.
00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:07.000
In that institution, because the story is perpetuated even in schools and the dominant narrative continues, and and they're struggling, their mental health will struggle because it's it's a conundrum.
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:10.000
They say you could do this, and you could do anything you want.
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:27.000
You can even be good as the boys. They know that they know that better than that, and yet, somehow, that they're caught in this in a world that has yet has not managed to change the story.
00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:33.000
So there is, yeah, we've got a change. This idea from hardwired difference to diversity.
00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:36.000
We've got to change the story of inadequate science.
00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:41.000
That's actually, you know, really damaging to women's health and men's health.
00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:44.000
If we miss health and they're not going to school, and they're off workers. I'm gritted.
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:48.000
They have been roads. Then everybody suffers, everybody does so it's changing it through it.
00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:54.000
Through education. I really believe that sure education is is going to be the way we're going to do it in schools whenever you know. Stop!
00:37:54.000 --> 00:38:05.000
The schooling us of schools, and and really get away from you know what we are.
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:15.000
We're not sugar and spice. We're definitely not sugar and spice, and not to be treated in a you know, as a confection on life.
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:21.000
I did some things to take away.
00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:28.000
The first one. Yes, her story is necessary. We want the women to be visible.
00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:51.000
We want truth about. You know, medical conditions. We want society to reorientate it and think about the whole way in which schools or schools and children, and the way in which we can all have a you know, a fair share of what's you know what limited resources we have I suppose I also want the
00:38:51.000 --> 00:38:55.000
big story of determinism and the binariness of everything.
00:38:55.000 --> 00:39:01.000
The either, all the thing and the other thing to be looked at far more carefully.
00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:10.000
It gets in the way in so many ways, and it's very harmful and very damaging to be one or the other or not.
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:21.000
Something or app something. And I think, finding alternative ways of understanding that we range in differences in all kinds of ways.
00:39:21.000 --> 00:39:22.000
And my third more positive thing. But on this happy ending is that where is education?
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:42.000
Let's educate women if we're the. If the feminist were thinking about patriarchy as needing dismantling, I think we don't see it as a great big thing out there we see where we're at where we're at we're at all these places in the
00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:43.000
workplace, but we can educate in the workplace just as the first people.
00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:49.000
The first men in the Wa. Oh, that century, whatever it is!
00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:56.000
Ago. They wanted to know the stuff that the bosses knew in their workplace, and come and learn.
00:39:56.000 --> 00:40:01.000
And I think women need to find a way just as they did, to find out and change the stories and get out there and find, you know.
00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:17.000
Be everywhere. So we can change, you know, where they shut your school or your workplace, or your community hall, or whatever club or group you belong to, and think how how to educate women, whether in sheds or they.
00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:25.000
You know what they're educating them in then, and assert the a different understanding of who we are and what we are.
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:28.000
And then the old one. I'll stop the screen. Share now.
00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:36.000
So I'm rapidly coming towards the end of my talk I hope you're still with me.
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:41.000
Are you still there? I you know.
00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:46.000
I hope it got my things to take away, and I do hope that you know you do have some questions about.
00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:55.000
You know what the next thing is, and that we can start in this.
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.000
Wa, actually, I will say my little word. The funeral, let me say.
00:40:59.000 --> 00:41:02.000
You know that there is one women's branch in the Wa.
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:03.000
In Nottingham. It's the last one left and we're a twig.
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:21.000
We hold on in there. I'm doing our bits, and Covid got in the way a great deal of our mission, and and all the work we were doing prior to Covid, I think, and I think there's probably some people from Nottingham here, that might might go along with that and we can start
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:23.000
somewhere stop from where you're at and start dismantling, start working to, you know.
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:33.000
Change society through education. I hope that's me. Questions come in.
00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:38.000
Right. Thank you so much for that. And, Jill, now we do have some questions.
00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:43.000
I'm just gonna start from the talk here. Now, just give me a second scroll.
00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:47.000
And so like we've got lots of comments here, which I'll make sure reach.
00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:48.000
Now let me scroll up!
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:55.000
Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I've left plenty of time for questions, cause I thought that would be something.
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:57.000
Or if you want to challenge me and tell me like.
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:03.000
Right? Okay, like, final place. Now, okay, this is from David.
00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:06.000
Yeah.
00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:07.000
Yeah.
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:13.000
And obviously you've talked a lot about. David is asking what has happened to the words matriarch.
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:17.000
The word word oh, matriarch!
00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:19.000
Yeah, cause we haven't really spoken about that halfway.
00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:20.000
So what are your thoughts?
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:23.000
Oh, my, yeah, well, I mean, I hinted at it in a way that we say that there are around the world.
00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:30.000
And actually the bit that I've missed out, I think probably on one of my sheets somewhere, was the idea of, you know we should be, we think, globally, it was International Women's Day.
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:37.000
Yesterday, and it is the fact that we are not a lot.
00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:38.000
We sit here in the, in our Western culture, with our problems.
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:46.000
But I'm totally aware most women in women's education are aware what we're doing is about.
00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:47.000
But those other societies, and some of which are matrilineal, and and are matriarchies.
00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:52.000
So what what gives me hope is? It's not. It's not to substitute one for the other.
00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:56.000
But be aware that the kind of patriarchy can change, and that there's not one model.
00:42:56.000 --> 00:43:08.000
And and I, you know there are matriarchs within our patriot hockey!
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:09.000
Of course there are and there are, you know, whatever we're doing, we they do.
00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:24.000
Women are doing in groups all around. They organize everything. What I tell you once they that really got me was when I had the Covid and there was Boris Johnson saying, yes, and we've got to set up all these centers in my local to where I live.
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:34.000
Ahead of him, saying that they'd already identified a big, you know, sports hall and got the women. And who are they going to be?
00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:39.000
The volunteers, and it was women's groups has already done that already, for the vaccination.
00:43:39.000 --> 00:43:41.000
It was like, I said, yes, that's it.
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:44.000
That's what we do. There's Covid.
00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:45.000
We'll need vaccination centers. Get out and organize it.
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:47.000
That's matriarchy. That's where the thing on the ground gets done.
00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:55.000
And you just pull your resources together and you get out and do it, and you find the way to do it.
00:43:55.000 --> 00:44:00.000
That's what you do when you're not in charge.
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:06.000
If you're not in charge, you get that what's my line, anyway? Does that help?
00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:14.000
So on, we'll talk more about, I mean, matriarchy is a wonderful idea, and we could look at cases around the world and models that we can model ourselves on.
00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:15.000
Yeah. Anyway. Thanks. Question, yeah.
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:18.000
Okay. Nice. Let's see what else we've got here.
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:23.000
We've got a question here from Jane. No, she's asking.
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Would you accept that even with ranges of physical attributes support sexes that are still fundamental differences that create difference?
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Yes. Okay. I'm selling you a line about stories, aren't I?
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And I'm saying it's what we make of it.
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What's the meaning of it? We don't check the fact that women have babies and men have a different bodily structures, and so on. We. It's not.
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It's not about ignoring that. But but those are diverse in themselves, and you know way, and when or who on how you look after children, or have them at all, or when you have them, and so on, or vary so it's not to not acknowledge that but what what it means to be a mother.
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that's got young children is that you are not fully.
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You work in a different way to contribute to in your workplace, to society, and some women that will be one way and some of the other, and men the same as parents.
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I think men really miss out on. That's one area, while you know, it's it loads it all on the women.
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And some of that old psychology they've got. Babies are going to stay.
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Well, you know children do. But both parents could be better involved if we had a more.
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If we had a different arrangement about what it means to be a parent, we wouldn't put it all on the women to organize the, you know, getting to the nursery and so on for their work as opposed to the men organizing the nursery for their work.
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So I accept, of course, this different ones.
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Yes, there is, but it's what it means to be different.
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And we've changed that with disability, with mental ill health, we've changed the meaning of it.
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So those labels known longer carry stick well. They do still carry stigma.
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They do, but you know we can't wear beginning to address that.
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So I agree. You know, we got acknowledge difference, and I might be a six-foot tool.
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Amazon do one thing, or be very petite and do something else.
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We all vary, you know, so what I might need as a woman would be quite different from, and the same for the men.
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So I stick with my argument.
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Okay? And okay, here's another question. This is from Elizabeth, and she's asking, are you familiar with Emma Watson's talk at the United Nations and September 2014, relating to Women's Rights and Human rights?
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Yes, it was a it was a while ago. Yeah, yes.
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Why? Oh, gosh, yeah, I haven't given you a reading list or a list of things that you could look at to do.
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This is where women's education begins. But but yes, I think you know that this is not recent.
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Okay, there have been women that have been making all kinds of inroads and suggestions.
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This is the her story bit, isn't it? They have been there.
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They have tried to have the voice, but sometimes, you know, I can see it as a you know, it's like lean in and leaning in.
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Whoa! Go talk to an old fashioned feminist that, leaning in there's better ways than that, you know.
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If we're really gonna make a difference, we don't wanna. We don't seem like we're, you know, edging our way in.
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And we can be, and we can be, just as good as the men ever coming out of my mouth again.
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You know we have to change the view of it on what it means.
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So yes, great great things. There's so much out there.
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Films, books, you know, inspiring things get be inspired.
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Women be inspired!
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Okay. And like this from Maggie, it's not so much of a question but it might be interesting to get your take on this, Maggie is saying, we for decades to raise one of status of Mister ie.
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Miss, but it's women themselves that insist on attending miss and missus, perhaps because they've absorbed the story that their validity relies on being attached to a man.
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What would be your thoughts, Stan?
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Yeah, but you know my thing. You know I have every sympathy with any woman wants to.
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You know, have any kind of title, you know because you gotta manage the world that you live in, and how you see things and what you see, you know in the nature of your relationship.
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But the point is, you know, you can't go you can't be nothing it doesn't make you nothing to be miss or miss.
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It's it carries with it so much meaning by other people that's that's that's what we need.
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We can't change. That was. It's a issue for women, because men don't have the same problem.
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It just Mister, that's it, mister? Yeah, whatever that status.
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And it's somehow marking. It's that marking.
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And if the marking is good, you know, if you are Miss or Miss Miss Missus, and you own it and claim it and live by it, then it's okay.
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But be aware that it carries, carries this other, you know, sort of buying into this other these other ideas that we we need to be labeled, who needs to know that why do we have to have it on an envelope or every form?
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You fill in. What does it do? Was it change? So? It's I'm you know.
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I've ever said you can call, you know, be be whatever.
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But be aware of what it is that we're doing.
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That's not have a discussion at your women's group.
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Yeah. Okay, now, let me just find there's another comment, actually, that I saw hold on second.
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Hmm!
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Yes, and I think it was just coming back to what you were saying earlier about parents, and say this thing, and I think she thinks language is so important.
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Child care should never be talked about as a woman or a mother's concern.
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It's a parent's concern.
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Yeah. Yeah. Hmm, yeah. Let me once again. Yeah, I mean, it's but it's a shift, isn't it? In in our understanding, not.
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It's not just understanding women, or you know what we're made of, what we're capable of.
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But but also you know, what, how does society function better if if we did acknowledge that we can't just keep seeing things as women's issues, I will.
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I won't have it as women's. That's another thing.
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Oh, well, you could go and talk about that. I spent you want to. You want to have your women's classes because you want to talk about women's issues.
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And I have to say, Well, no, they're society issues.
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Actually, we're women in it. But the whole point is, you know, they become an issue for us because of the way things are so again, it's challenging language all the time and without upsetting people too much.
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They mean well, and they say, go and talk about your women's issues.
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Well, no, we want a voice that goes way beyond that, you know, talking to ourselves, we're done with that.
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So when we gather to have what is education is so that we can work for social justice, and we can change things.
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That's what that's what my Wa. Classes are all about.
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What can we do? What we change in Nottingham? You know what?
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Why are we? Where are we? Gonna make a difference by by, by our shift in our way we understand things little by little.
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It may not be much, but you know we try.
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That's the point of it. Not so that I know more, but that we can do more. That's what women's education can do.
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Yeah. And the question here from Jude, do you think that although we have moved towards diversity, there now seems to be a retreat into my identity among a myriad of identities along with the sound of drawbridge is being drawn up in a lot of angry divided discourse?
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Yeah, I was, I thought we might get onto this.
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I was trying to stay clear in a way, but I know it comes down again to us to a culture where identity is individualism, and the individual is what we're all concerned about.
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And you know, and I am an old fashioned feminist to say Anna Cycle, as a psychologist of identity and self.
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Is about our social cells on ourselves, social identity and our G and our being with other people.
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Which is the way in which we we're best when we're interacting with other people.
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And you can claim them in a way we're all in disguise, anyway, whatever you have your hair or what you wear, what you do, you know, we're all. It's all a claim.
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And I, you know, us. For me it also seems another way of claiming I want to be this kind of woman. I want to be that. Well, go!
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Yes, we want all kinds of people, and then to be whatever kind of man they wanna be, and we are, anyway.
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But it's like what it as an individual I would do that.
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But it's respecting that, you know this is I'm with you, Guy. I'm with you.
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I'm but I do it dressed like this.
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So I'm like this, or I've got these skills.
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Or this knowledge, or whatever so to the extent that we're individuals.
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Yes, we are. We manage that with my own life story, and it's not like next door neighbors, life story.
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But nevertheless, we all live in this other big story.
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So together. You know me as me, and you know that other person like that, claiming I mean, if I may just be that little girl we're all in disguise as human beings. That's what we're doing.
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We're all in disguise, so we can claim something.
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We can claim it. It's it's it's what that meaning.
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If people then start beating you up, or excluding your discriminating against you because of it.
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But we face that, anyway. Try being blonde, all your life I've been waiting, no, I mean, blonde jokes have stopped happening now, but you know it's like, Oh, for goodness sake, you know.
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Can I be this age? And still, you know, could that still be a problem but it's just you said, I mean, we're all gonna if we discriminate against for being what we are, then that's the problem.
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Not that we all claim. You know something about ourselves, and I would look forward to the day when men are much more inventive and creative as women are being different all the time, cause we are amazing.
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A room full of women, and you've got kaleidoscope of of colors and things and attitudes and age, and whatever.
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And and you know I don't want to liberate the men as well.
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Come on! Get free! Be in disguise, anyway.
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Okay.
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That answers it. I'm not dodging the question.
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I think there are definite issues about, you know, gender identity.
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Believe me, but that's a whole other. That's.
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I'm teaching.
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It it is we've got one more question here, and then I think we'll need to wrap up things and folks cause I know that Jill has a another course on after this you're teaching, so here's a question from Anna, and she's
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saying Jill Biden was marked for using Doctor in a way no man would have been.
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Oh!
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Do you think that was to do with her job or her gender?
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Isn't it? Yeah, it's terrible, isn't it?
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You know the little ways in which women, just, you know, just occasionally want to be.
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You know neutral doctor is, and you know it's just like this isn't neutral, isn't it?
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It doesn't say men could be doctors, you know. They can be.
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They are, you know, and you know, gives a woman a break.
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Yeah, I think I know a lot of academics, and and then they get it, and they're very proud. And they say I'm going to use it all the time because I stop asking me whether I'm a miss or whatever.
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And then they get a bit embarrassed. It's a bit much, isn't it?
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You tell the postman that you, you know, call me doctor.
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So and so, yeah, you know, in a way, you know, if only there was something.
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But no, but no, I think I think it is with Biden, was. What's she doing?
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She's trying to say, Look, don't take me for a floozy, or whatever I have I have done had a life, and I have done these things, and it's not bragging.
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It's a kind of saying, Oh, come on, you know some of us.
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Yeah, we can, we can make claims about things like you know that we have done a doctorate, you know, as other people have done other wonderful things, and they should be able to make that that claim, as well, it's the world.
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World she was living in, and I don't blame her.
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Yeah, okay, well, thanks so much for that. Jill. That was really fascinating.